Thursday, March 1, 2018

Eager: A Reflection from Emily Rutledge

My baby just turned four.  He has a wild heart.  He is deeply compassionate and wide open.  Church is as much a part of him as bath time and preschool. He views it as such, another thing he does where he can be his true self, no need to hold back. 

Lately, he has been approaching the communion rail in a way that would make you believe they are handing out cupcakes and not wafers and wine.  While I'm happy he is eager for communion I often hope he will refrain from commentary.  My hopes are always squashed. 

Me: Dip your wafer in just a little big.
(dips entire wafer into chalice till his fingers are almost submerged)
Him: YES!  I got SO MUCH.
(happily nibble wafer all the way back to pew)

I wonder what communion would feel like for me if I laid it all out with commentary when receiving it, not as a 4 year old does but as my 33 year old self does.

(taking my normal sip from the chalice)
Me: YES!  Forgiveness for another week where I feel short in almost all aspects of my life but still get another chance and am still so loved!
(gleefully skip down the aisle)

I have a feeling I may be running to the alter, too.  Eager.  Always wanting more.  

I find that instead of running to Christ to tell me that I am enough, I am instead running for validation from others to tell me what I should or could already know.  That no level of success or progress is going to make me anymore loved and wonderful than I already am.  

I invite you this week to receive Christ at the rail the way my son does, so excited for the gift of Christ and so sure of it's goodness and truth that commentary is needed.  

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