“What
do you want to be when you grow up?” they asked me as a kid. I never knew.
Maybe a teacher. In middle school I wanted to be a singer, in high school, a
church organist. I didn’t imagine being a deacon until I was 65. Never did I
imagine being here—until it happened.
But
I am your deacon and I’ve been here for seven weeks, so I thought it might be
good to take some time to talk about deacons, where we came from, how I became
one, and what I want to do here.
In
Chapter 6 of the Book of Acts we read of disputes between Hebrew and Greek
widows over neglect in the daily distribution of food (Acts 6.1). In response
to a proposal from Peter, seven men were chosen to serve at table. The apostles
laid hands on them—these were the first deacons, a word from the Greek, diakonia, to serve.
Stephen,
one of the seven, when falsely accused of blasphemy, preached an eloquent and
powerful sermon, beginning with Abraham and ending with the proclamation of
Jesus Christ as the Messiah. He spoke truth to power with the words given him
by the Holy Spirit. His enraged accusers took him outside the city wall and
stoned him to death. The other deacons scattered and Philip, the only other of
whom we hear, went to Samaria, and proclaimed the Gospel. He later encountered an
Ethiopian eunuch, for whom he unlocked scripture and baptized.
Serve
at table, speak truth to power, proclaim the gospel. That is the threefold
pattern of service which the first seven deacons set, and which we deacons
still follow.
Since
that time, there have been deacons, but the order faded, in part from the rise
of the priesthood, until, in 1979, deacons returned to the Episcopal Church,
driven energetically by changes to The Book of Common Prayer, which sets out a
very distinctive role in liturgy and details it in the rubrics. In various
service notes we find:
“A deacon should read the Gospel and may lead
the Prayers of the People. Deacons should also serve at the Lord’s Table,
preparing and placing on it…” And at the end of the service, “The Deacon dismisses them with these words…”
On Palm Sunday it is the deacon who begins the procession of palms. At The
Easter Vigil it is the deacon who carries the newly lighted Pascal Candle and
sings the Exsultet.
As
with Philip, deacons work in the world, serving the helpless. We are, “to
interpret to the Church the needs, concerns, and hopes of the world.” I’m told that
I should have one foot in the world and one in the church, so I stand at the door
welcoming in and sending out, and I stand here today.
But
it took a while. I was Ordained to the Sacred Order of Deacons by Bishop
Shannon on September 29. It was a two-hour service, but it took 4½ years to get
there. How did I get there, and how did I come to be serving at COOS, wearing
this sideways stole, preaching? There are no job interviews for deacons, I was
assigned by Bishop Shannon and I pledged to obey my bishop.
The
rest of the journey began in June 2014.
I felt
a call. I might not have heard it aloud, as Samuel did (1 Samuel), but an
internal sense of urgency and purpose arose, and my response was like Samuel’s,
“Speak, Lord, for your servant is
listening.” How could I not listen, not say yes? “Speak, Lord,” became my first
scriptural support mantra.
My
second came from Matthew (14:29). Jesus walks on the water and when he commands
Peter to come to him, he says, “Come.” That single, gentle word, urging Peter
to himself, has called to me through every stage of school and in my growth as
a deacon. Jesus said, “Come.”
I
had a third inspiration, a haunting mantra, from Kathleen Norris who wrote,
“Prayer is not about asking for what you think you want; prayer is asking to be
changed in ways you can’t imagine.” I did pray to be changed, even though I
didn’t know what that meant. I was changed in ways I don’t yet understand.
Apart from knowing scripture, theology, and such, there was an internal change.
A greater depth, a quieter mind. There was a reorientation, as of a compass,
and I turned to a different place.
I
worked with others, assembled a 60-page application and submitted to a psych
evaluation. While I waited for acceptance, I turned to my first school
assignment: a front to back reading of the Bible and a journal of that read.
What
a gift it was, to return to the familiar—and the new—in scripture. My greatest
surprise? Job 38, God speaking from the whirlwind. Amazingly beautiful and powerful
language. The journal of my read became 600 pages of text, art, and links to
music. And, I’m not done yet. The creativity of the project was, and still is,
very sustaining.
Finally,
I interviewed and was accepted as a postulant.
School
began July 2016 and as I studied, I strove to grow into being a deacon,
learning to be who I would become. Ordination might be a mystical change point,
but as whom would I go into the world? Who would I be? I knew I would bring myself, but how else
might I be changed? Queen Elizabeth II said, “Ordination is the setting aside
of a person for service to God.” “Service to God,” I understood, but “setting
aside?”
School
was held one weekend each quarter for two years and I studied scripture,
theology, church history, and more. Between weekends the work did not stop. I
read books, wrote papers, and met sometimes-difficult deadlines. It was hard. I
was retired and long out of school, but I couldn’t ignore the call. At each
weekend, we had a deacon on staff, which gave us opportunities to hear their
experiences in life as a deacon.
As
the end of school neared a great unknown hurdle lay ahead: Canonical Exams, a
final. I was required to show competence in Scripture, theology, the tradition
of the church, and other subjects. Passing the test was required for ordination.
I passed.
And
now, here at COOS? What will I do? Who will I be? As I’ve mentioned, deacons
have a distinctive role in liturgy and are also called to work in the world.
There
are ministries at COOS I might help with, and I’m considering volunteering at
the jail or at Fluvanna Correctional Center for Women.
I’ve
signed on to help with a 12-step presentation in January, and I wonder what
else God might send my way, our way, to ease pain in the world, and bring his
kingdom closer.
I have
pledged to serve, “the poor, the weak, the sick, and the lonely,” and to “make
Christ and his redemptive love known, by my word and example, to those among
whom I live, and work, and worship.” I am, “to show Christ’s people that in
serving the helpless they are serving Christ himself.”[1]
Kenneth
Leach wrote that it is “the deacon’s ministry to proclaim by example the
consequences of being a eucharistic community that is called to serve.”
Let
me say that again, it is “the deacon’s ministry to proclaim by example the
consequences of being a eucharistic community that is called to serve,”[2]
and “to shine a light on the servant ministry that is already embedded in all
our lives. Deacons make ministry visible.”[3]
Growing
into the deacon who makes all this possible, who calls others to their servant
ministry, is a joyful task. It is nothing less than, “Proclaiming and
manifesting the kingdom of God,” as written in Mark (Mk 1.14).
I’ve
spoken much of the work of the deacon, but I will not be working alone. I will shine
light so that each of us can find our own servant ministry, because we made
pledges at our baptis
Will
you proclaim by word and example the Good News of God in Christ?
Will you seek and serve Christ in all
persons, loving your neighbor as yourself?
Will you strive for justice and peace
among all people, and respect the dignity of every human being?[4]
And
together, we answered: “I will, with God’s help,” because no one of us can do
this alone.
How
do we live out these vows, in our community that is called to serve? We best
serve God and the community, with an open mind and loving heart, and always in
prayer. Whether it is a Thanksgiving meal, volunteering at the Schoolhouse
Thrift Shop, Salvation Army, The Haven, or PACEM, we are serving the least of
these. One
might lend a hand at a local school or library, or volunteer here at COOS with
your time, talent, and resources.
When
they asked me, “What do you want to be when you grow up,” I didn’t know then
but I know now. I want to shine a light on the servant ministry that is already
embedded in all our lives. I want to make ministry visible, in order to “assist
in understanding that all baptized persons are called to minister in Christ's
name, to identify their gifts with the help of the Church and to serve Christ's
mission at all times and in all places.[5]
Let
us pray.
Almighty and eternal God, so draw
our hearts, so guide our minds, so fill our imaginations, so control our wills,
that we may be wholly yours, utterly dedicated to you, and then use us, we
pray, as you will, and always to your glory and the welfare of your people;
through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.[6]
[1]
The Ordination of a Deacon, The Book of Common Prayer
[4]
Service of Holy Baptism, BCP, p.305
[5] Constitution
& Canons TheEpiscopalChurch.org p. 67
[6] A Prayer
of Self-Dedication BCP p. 832
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