Early on in my childhood I got the idea that prayer involved bowing my head, closing my eyes, and clasping my hands. And if I did all that along with believing with all my heart and being a good person then when I prayed - which was code for asking God for something - then God would “answer” my prayer by granting my request. Sound familiar? My guess is that many of us have lived with some version of that as our understanding of prayer. Yet it didn't take long for me to notice that even if I followed those “rules” of prayer the results didn’t always pan out. My prayers seemed to go unanswered. Shockingly, I didn’t ace a science test I only half-heartedly studied for. Nor did I make my high school cheerleading squad (in retrospect actually I thank God for that one!). And it has rained on more than one camping trip of mine. But no big deal, these unanswered prayers weren’t life or death. However, eventually some were, at the very least someone’s well-being was on the line. I would pray and pray and pray and nothing good seemed to come of it. And that’s not just not my story. In my many years of ministry I’ve yet to have someone come to my office asking why they prayed and got exactly what they wanted. I have, however, lost track of how many have come wanting to know why they’ve asked, prayed, even begged God for something good - and gotten nothing. I’ve struggled with that question and chances are you have, too.
And you know, there are answers out there - bad answers in my opinion. Like you didn't pray hard enough. You didn't have enough faith. It's all a mystery and someday you will understand. Everything happens for a reason. And then there’s the classic Garth Brooks’ song that seeks to console us with the notion that, “Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.”
Now that may be true sometimes but certainly not all the time. I am well aware that many of us have experienced deep pain from seemingly unanswered prayer. And that some of us are living with that pain even now.
Then to make matters worse, or at least more complicated, I sometimes hear well-meaning people declare that they believe in the power of prayer! Which raises all sorts of questions in my mind.... First of all, what does that exactly mean? Is prayer a power we have of getting God Almighty to bend to our will? And if someone’s prayer is answered and someone else’s is not, does that mean that God cares about one person more than the other? Is the “power” of prayer unleashed because more people are praying? Or better people are praying? Really the topic of prayer opens up a whole host of questions and problems partly because we often still think about it as most of us did in our childhood - that basically prayer is transactional. First you have to jump through certain hoops, say the right thing, do the right thing, and then God answers granting the request.
But when one of the disciples says to Jesus, “Teach us to pray,” he must have been asking for more than that - more than how to get God to do what you want. Because Jesus’ prayers seemed to be at a totally different level than that. Likely the request came from a desire which we all have, that is, to connect with the divine on the deepest of levels. Lord, teach us to pray.
So Jesus does. Beginning with a model which we have come to know as The Lord’s Prayer. And one of the reasons that prayer is so dear to many of us is that it harkens back to our childhood. It's probably one of the first prayers, if not the first prayer, we ever learned. So when the words are changed to a more modern or theologically accurate translation we resist it. But really it's not the words that matter so much, but the message. The message that when we pray we begin by naming God as father. And with all the difficulties of gendered language, bottom line, it's a term of intimate care. At its heart, the prayer is rooted in relationship - a relationship that invites us, among other things, to ask God for what we need in all aspects of our lives.
Jesus then continues with a parable about banging on a friend's door late at night for some bread. It's a rather odd story, yet as I've mentioned in the past, parables by their nature are complicated and multifaceted. And perhaps one thing that Jesus is trying to communicate here is that God welcomes us always to come to him no matter the hour or the circumstance.
Finally, Jesus wraps up with what’s supposed to be an assurance but ends up inviting the elephant of unanswered prayers into the room. “Ask,” he says, “and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you.”
Did Jesus say that with a straight face??? I mean, come on, with all the unanswered prayer out there? How could he be serious? Yet as I’ve sat with this scripture for the last week I believe that Jesus would wonder what in the world we are talking about. Unanswered prayer? What unanswered prayer? Because what Jesus wants to reveal to us is that God is always answering our prayers with a “Yes!” Yes in the sense that the greatest gift God can give, the answer to our most profound wants and needs that transcends all particulars of circumstance is God’s own spirit. And that’s exactly where Jesus lands in this teaching about prayer, “If you…know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”
It hasn’t been easy letting go of my childhood understanding of prayer - that it’s not supposed to be about getting something from God. Prayer does not guarantee outcome, it cannot undo the past nor does it provide a quick fix to present struggles. Prayer is not transactional: it’s relational. And its power is in opening us up and awakening our spirits to the presence of the Holy Spirit within - God’s Spirit that will never abandon us, never leave us, and promises that, ultimately, all will be well. Prayer is the paying attention to that truth, that goodness. that abundant love which meets our deepest needs.
So I invite you today, not only during this service, but throughout all of your days, to pray. In whatever way that makes sense to you, to intentionally open yourself up to the divine - whether that be with a verbal prayer, a deep breath, a moment of pause…whatever. And then receive God’s “Yes!” For the gift of God’s Spirit is the truest answer to every prayer - even the unanswered ones.
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