On Learning and Growth. August 20, 2023. The Reverend Kathleen M. Sturges

 

Matthew 15: (10-20), 21-28

Can Jesus act like a jerk sometimes? And is it even ok to ask that question? I think so because our God can handle all of our questions. And, believe it or not, I mean no disrespect. It’s just that Jesus’ interaction with the Canaanite woman in our reading from Matthew’s gospel seems to beg the question.

“Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is tormented by a demon!” shouts a desperate woman in the crowd. And how does Jesus respond? With silence. He ignores her. So she persists and continues to shout until the disciples find her cries so annoying that they ask Jesus to send her away. To which Jesus replies, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel”  Meaning, “I’m not here for foreigners like her, just the Jews.” (That doesn’t sound like Jesus, does it? But, wait, it gets worse!) Following that comment the woman pushes through the crowd, kneels before Jesus and directly pleads, “Lord, help me.” But again, Jesus responds uncharacteristically saying, “It is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.”

At which point I want to cry, “Who is this Jesus and what has he done with my Lord and Savior?!?!” Where is the Jesus who regularly crosses boundaries to spend time with outsiders? Jesus who seems to always, except in this instance, be moved with compassion in the face of suffering and need. It seems almost inconceivable that Jesus could be so rude and callous -  ignoring, dismissing, and ultimately insulting the woman by likening her to a dog - which, make no mistake about it, in Jesus’ time was considered a slur. 

Many have tried to explain this dismaying behavior. Jesus is just using this interaction as a teachable moment for his disciples. He's giving voice to the prejudice in their hearts in order to teach them these prejudices are wrong. But that's not exactly how the story goes. He ignores the woman before the disciples express any negative reaction to her plea. And even if he were reading their minds, and setting up this conflict on purpose, how is that any better? That means he is just using this desperate woman as an object lesson - subjecting her to humiliation in order to teach his own friends in a sneaky, “gotcha” kind of way. That doesn't put Jesus in a much better light. Nor does the justification that he was simply testing the woman's faith, putting her through the wringer all the while  knowing that she would ultimately pass the test. Where is the compassion in that? That’s just some of the theological gymnastics that people use to try to explain Jesus's behavior because almost everyone agrees that this just doesn’t seem like him.

But what if we were willing to let the story stand on its own without such explanation or justification? What could be going on here? What could Jesus be teaching us? Yes, Jesus is fully God, but he’s also fully human. And one aspect of being human, at least being a healthy human, is to be open to change and growth. Jesus is always challenging his disciples to do just that. Maybe in this encounter it’s his turn to practice what he preaches. Because here we have Jesus doing something problematic. He fails to show compassion to someone in need and his words reveal why. He has a limited view of his own mission, assuming it is only for the people who share his heritage. Could it be that he’s letting his unthinking prejudice limit the ways that he offers grace? For he does, in fact, say something terribly demeaning to a person who comes to him for help. “It is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.”

Now I’m sure all of us have been in a situation where someone said something to us and we were so stunned that we couldn’t really respond in the moment. Only later do we come up with what we wish we had said or done, but the opportunity has passed. Given that, I’m always impressed by this woman’s brilliant and immediate retort. “Yes, Lord,” she says, “yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” Not only does she not back down but her response uses the metaphor of the table – the place where Jesus himself has pushed boundaries in his ministry among the Jews – and calls him to push a little harder in order to make room for her and her daughter. This woman’s defiance and strength is inspiring. So much so that Jesus accepts her correction. He hears it, he learns from it, and he praises her.

Imagine that! A man of authority, one who is hailed as a teacher and leader, says something unkind and offensive. And when the woman he has just disparaged pushes back, he doesn’t get defensive or try to justify himself. Instead, he honors her. He holds her up as an example of faith - the highest praise he can give - and he gives her the help that she had been asking for.

The Canaanite woman is an example for us all. She models persistence and the courage to reject attitudes and behaviors of exclusion. She demands that her voice be heard. She is an example that we can all look to when we see something wrong - an example of how not to give up and how to call people to live up to the moral values they claim to hold.

And Jesus...in his humility he is willing to be an example of a different kind. An example of what to do when we receive a challenge like the challenge from the Canaanite woman. Even though Jesus starts out maybe a little too human for our comfort, what he offers in this encounter is a model on how to switch course. How to hear a challenge, take it in, and let it change us for the better.

Because the good news of Jesus Christ is not about perfection it is about growth. That means that when we are faced by our own mistakes - whether they be failures of compassion or unconscious pre-judgments or the million other ways that we fall short of God’s call to love - we do not have to get defensive. We don’t have to try to justify ourselves or deny the ways that we have caused harm. If Jesus can be open to correction then surely we can be too. If he can change course when confronted with a greater vision of God’s all-encompassing love then that is our path as well. “Follow me,” Jesus says. This is a path that we need not be embarrassed by but instead, with God’s help, embrace.