No One Sits Alone: A Reflection from Emily Rutledge

*an expansion of a reflection from August 2015

We have a rule in our youth community: No one eats alone. 

As students begin school this week, I am acutely aware that there will be children with heavy hearts in every building.  Students surrounded by swarms of people and all alone. The way that loneliness feels: magnified, amplified, and underlined while being surrounded by swarms of seemingly happy classmates is crushing. So often, those who don’t feel alone are so preoccupied with the novelty and chaos of the day that it is easy to overlook the lonely, the new, the out of place. At school, it seems, the ultimate goal is to be on top, to be the best at whatever it is that you can be the best at: the best student, athlete, musician, actor, and the list goes on and on.  Yet, as Christians, we are called to be counter-cultural. To be rebels. To be like Jesus. So at school, as Christians, the goal should be to better each other instead of being the best; to seek out the lonely, the new, the left-out, and lift them up. To see and know those others don't.  Sometimes that means taking yourself out of the battle for the top and sitting on the sidelines with someone who hasn't even been invited to play.  

And what about us old people? Do we leave school and all those feelings of insecurity, loneliness, and isolation disappear? Ha! If only. They multiply and deepen. We are far guiltier than our children of overlooking those who are lonely, new, or left-out. We have escaped the nice walls of school and now are in the messy world of work, neighborhoods, parish life, and family. Who is surrounding you that needs lifting up? Who needs to be seen and recognized? Who needs to be known? We are often so busy or insecure ourselves that we forget it is our job to be the rebel, to be like Jesus, to introduce ourselves and invite someone to our table. 

Students: be brave in the ways that grades won't reflect and for which trophies won't be awarded.  I promise, the act of including and affirming will make a far longer and deeper impact than any accolade. 

Parents: remind your kids before they get on the bus, or out of your car, or into their own car, that you don't expect them to be perfect but you do expect them to be kind; to look for the child alone in the lunch room or on the playground or lost in the halls. While you're at it, look for the parent feeling those same things, introduce yourself, connect over how dang hard this raising kids thing is.  

You could easily become the brightest part of someone's day.

When we are living like Christ calls us to: no one eats alone.