My 6 year old has started practicing yoga once a week at the studio I go to. Just admitting that to all of you makes me simultaneously mortified and giddy. Mortified because I am now a mom that takes her child to yoga and giddy because it's the first time I've had something that I love doing that my child also enjoys. The magical day has come that we are together enjoying a thing.
We are a family that struggles with anxiety living in a culture that glorifies excellence. Last year I focused on slowing down and separating myself from my innate need to compare; my body, my achievements, my clothing, my situations. Much of that separation centered around yoga, it is my contemplative prayer, my radical body acceptance, and the place my mind finds quiet and the Holy finds space. When our daughter started displaying the same struggles as I did as a young girl the planets aligned and my studio began offering children's yoga.
For the past few months late on Monday afternoons we have walked into the small and intimate yoga studio where I have dropped her off for an hour that sets her week right. With the new year came a move and our tiny yoga studio grew into a larger space with two practice rooms and a later time.
My daughter, AG, was excited to see the new space and her friends after the Christmas break. To my surprise instead of the four to six other little girls she had been practicing with for months there was a gaggle of children; some much younger, some much older, all in a smaller studio while we adults got to take up the big room. AG happily found her spot and I went to practice with a bit of a pit in my stomach. The worry monster inside of me got very loud...
We are a family that struggles with anxiety living in a culture that glorifies excellence. Last year I focused on slowing down and separating myself from my innate need to compare; my body, my achievements, my clothing, my situations. Much of that separation centered around yoga, it is my contemplative prayer, my radical body acceptance, and the place my mind finds quiet and the Holy finds space. When our daughter started displaying the same struggles as I did as a young girl the planets aligned and my studio began offering children's yoga.
For the past few months late on Monday afternoons we have walked into the small and intimate yoga studio where I have dropped her off for an hour that sets her week right. With the new year came a move and our tiny yoga studio grew into a larger space with two practice rooms and a later time.
My daughter, AG, was excited to see the new space and her friends after the Christmas break. To my surprise instead of the four to six other little girls she had been practicing with for months there was a gaggle of children; some much younger, some much older, all in a smaller studio while we adults got to take up the big room. AG happily found her spot and I went to practice with a bit of a pit in my stomach. The worry monster inside of me got very loud...
- Well it's all ruined, her quiet little happy space is gone forever
- See.. all change is bad. BAD BAD BAD
- Nothing ever lasts, guess I can give this up now, no more yoga for AG
- She is going to hate this, why can't anything work out?
If you also have a worry monster inside of you, you know how this story goes. By the time I was out of my practice and she hers the monster had convinced me that not only was yoga ruined but my child would end up an anxious adult (probably sitting in yoga class worried about her own child) with no coping skills and destined to a life of internal turmoil. I have a very advanced worry monster.
When we all united in the lobby the miracle-worker instructor, Maggie, informed us that they had done partner poses for the class.
Well that did me right in. Not only did my child loose her happy place but she had to do yoga with other kids and probably felt so uncomfortable and anxious that she is ruined forever and I'm sure she was left out and LIFE IS HORRIBLE.
As we walked to the car together I asked the question I was afraid to hear the answer to,
'How was it today?'
AG's response, 'IT WAS AWESOME.'
I was convinced I must have misheard, so I asked more specifically,
'Ms. Maggie said you did partner poses, was it okay? Was it awkward? Did you like it?'
AG's response, 'IT WAS FUN, WHEN WE GET HOME CAN I SHOW YOU WHAT WE DID?
When Jesus rebukes the disciples for keeping the children away and tells them that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to them, I always thought it was because they were young and innocent. I never considered it belonged to children because they were BRAVE. If you have ever listened in on a children's homily you know that there is no limit to what a child is willing to share or question. There is no answer too far fetched or question too bold.
As we embark on a new year I invite you to join me in being childlike. I invite you to do the new things and believe you will be awesome at them. Meet people with the assumption they will love you and you will love them. Ask the questions as they roll off your tongue and share your answers no matter how wild. Play. Eagerly reach for the Eucharist and belt out the alleluias. Do the partner yoga without worrying about the partner yoga.
The Kingdom is waiting for us in all these things, we only need to be brave enough to enter in.
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