We All Deserve a Trophy: Reflection from Emily Rutledge

A common phrase I am finding myself using is ‘I deserve a trophy’.

For example:  my kids have been on a long streak of getting up in the middle of the night for no particular reason (they have reasons like ‘my blanket is not sitting right’ and ‘I had a bad dream about the library’ but I don’t consider those valid reasons to wake up at 1am).  Each night I have been getting up and helping them back into bed without losing my mind or screaming.  I deserve a trophy.   

A sweet friend of mine had surgery on her hip almost two months ago.  The recovery has been THE WORST and this week she went down from two crutches to one.  She’s done a million hours of PT and had to totally reorient her life to do all the things she still had to do while also being debilitated by pain and immobility.  She deserves a trophy.

At pick up a daycare this week one of the amazing teachers hurriedly walked into the classroom as I entered with a girl bleeding profusely from her nose (apparently this is a regular occurrence for this girl) and without one ounce of panic, frustration, or fear, dealt with a 3 year old gushing blood all over her.  She deserves a trophy.

At Dairy Queen on Monday I watched as two teenage boys spilled an entire orange soda and while they could have easily just walked away they spent ten minutes cleaning up every last drop.  Even the splatters.  Even the puddles under the table where it’s hard to reach.  Those boys deserve a trophy. 

Each of us gets out of bed each day, puts on clothes, and decides to live another day in this world where really really big things and really really small things are going to break our hearts and hurt our feelings and set us back.  We all deserve a dang trophy for getting out of bed.

But as you and I know:  no one is handing out these trophies! 

Where are the stinking judges who are supposed to tell us we are doing a really good job and give us a prize?  Why do we keep doing this hard stuff when often it seems like there is no actual reward. 

When I was young I thought that God was going to be that person.  That when I did something really stinking awesome or hard or ethical there would be some magical reward for me like I’d find a $20 on the sidewalk or win a radio contest or get into my reach school or have a really good hair day coincide with a really good outfit day (obviously the reward would be proportionate to the action). 

Let me share a hard truth I had to learn about that strong-held belief:  God is not a game-show host.  This life has no scorecard and on our worst days that is really comforting and on our best days that really annoying. 

When Christ came to be with us he gave us the reality check that the real prize; eternal life, community, and life-altering love was not handed out to a few winners but given to EVERYONE. There was nothing we could do to earn it… it was already ours.   Our life is just a reaction to that gift and no matter how we choose to react (with grace and kindness or with cruelty and hate) no one can take it away. 

This ultimate prize we all already have doesn’t make the day to day of existing any easier.  Life is still hard.  Daily we are surrounded by difficult situations that call for humble and grace-filled responses.  All of us are working really hard to do our best with what we’ve got.  I’m not yelling at my kids in the middle of the night, my friend is pushing through on one crutch, our son’s teacher is covered in blood and loving on toddlers, those boys are cleaning up soda with 1,000 napkins without complaining, and you got out of bed this morning even though you had no idea what today had in store for you. 

Two thousand years ago Jesus was literally walking around telling people he loved them and giving them hope.  We don’t get the Messiah.  Sorry… we were born too late.  What we do have is each other.  That means it’s our job to open our mouths and say the things.  It’s our responsibility to give the trophies.  At the core of each of us is a profound need to be seen and recognized. When we see the kind gesture or hard choice or extra effort of another and recognize it we open ourselves up to a deeper connection to each other and to the Holy.  When we allow ourselves to be instruments of encouragement and light for each other we give a gift better than that of a good hair day that coincides with a good outfit day… we are validated as worthy humans doing hard things.  A reminder we need to sustain us through the daily work of being human.